From: Christopher Magan

My dearest Elmer,
How does one even start a letter like this – when so many memories are flooding the brain and the heart? I’m finding solace thinking about the many people stuck at their computers lately, trying to figure out how to say goodbye to such a dear, dear friend who has added so much to their lives. These mere letters that come up on my screen when I press these laptop keys aren’t doing you any justice. Yet I’ll persist…
I have known you for 27 years -- which is exactly half my life right now. I have always felt honored to be your friend, Elmer. While it’s so sad to realize that “27 years” is where this meter stops running, I am very grateful for the almost 10,000 days I got to call you my dear friend and my fellow marshmallow. As an aside, your absence is unfortunately going to leave a huge void in my marshmallow peer group since this was a very exclusive club of only two people. Going forward, me and my overactive tear glands will do our very best to make you proud. They are working overtime as I type this.
Thank you, good doctor, for the significant impact you’ve had on my life. Thank you for all the joy you brought me. For all the beautiful laughter, all the healing tears and everything in between. Thank you for all the things you’ve taught me and for all the support you’ve given me during the darkest days of my life. And thank you for supporting Miles the way you did during his addiction discovery, illness and death. (Boy, did he think THE WORLD of you! He always was a good judge of character.)
You and your incredible wife are a part of so many indelible memories that I take forward until the day I pass on. Who knows how long that will be? I’m pretty sure I won’t be 91 when I go. And if by chance I am, I’ll be fortunate to have even HALF the mental lucidity that you still have. Your brain is -- and always has been -- a marvel.
I think about this crazy world right now – with a pandemic raging, an economy broken and a President who is undoubtedly sociopathic – and I feel bad for all the folks out there who never have had an Elmer in their lives... someone who made the world better for them. Enriching the lives of others – whether they were family, friends, patients, colleagues, neighbors or perfect strangers – that is your legacy, Elmer. You’ve enriched the lives of everyone around you. What a legacy. What a human being. What a friend.
Our birthdays are one day apart. From now on, on the day before I celebrate my birthdays to come, I will raise a rather giant gin and tonic to the skies and toast your beautiful spirit. I’ll never, ever forget you.
Your absence going forward is going to hurt like hell – and THANK GOODNESS for that! Because that means I really, really loved having you in my life. I am a lucky man.
I love you, Elmer – I always have and I always will.
Your friend,
Christopher