From: Tom Frankel

Elmer:
You and I go back almost 79 years. My memories of you were at family events at your parents' home. You were in college, medical school, the military, and then with your family. I was in awe of this older cousin who knew the ways of the world. For some reason I have a memory of bumpy bedspreads on your and Bob's beds, an exercise bike, and a wire recorder that were all in your bedroom. When I left home and ended in Berkeley some years later there you were to help in many ways, especially with the early care of my 2 boys. What other MD would show up at the patient's home when needed bringing compassionate expertise along with a bottle of good wine (it had to be good) and good food? You did. Who else would take this young, inexperienced couple under his wings and guide him in whatever ways that were needed. You did.
For my adult life you have been my mentor. I look at lifetime interests thatI I enjoy and you have deeply influenced them. You have always been a significant part of the foundational values of my life and for that I am grateful. How many times have we had the same thought at the same time?
You and I have always been connected through our gardens and the crops that we grow. Visits to each others homes has never been complete without a discussion about what is growing, what has failed, and what our future garden plans include. I have a vivid picture in my mind of you standing in my garden eating ripe figs from one of my trees. Another great memory.
To travel, hike, or just sit in the forest with you has always been special. You are so knowledgable about nature, the world, history, and politics that I am again in awe. I remember when you, Pam, Barbara and I went to Jackson Hole, Wyoming and Ken Burns was there filming his movie on the national parks. He was reading FDR's biography and you and he immediately started talking about the book in great detail. Two students of history. This is another example of the breadth of your knowledge. As usual, I was awe struck.
You are the family elder and with that has always been an incredible quantity of knowledge of our family history. No one can match this quality.
You are a great writer. You pediatric book for parents was our bible. Your articles on food were fabulous, especially the Thanksgiving one in Saveur magazine where we were part of a photo shoot in August for a November dinner at your home that you and Pam prepared. This was one of many meals never to be forgotten. To be invited to a Grossman meal has always been a privilege.
I close with a fine memory. When I saw you a couple weeks ago I commented that this was the first time in my memory that coming and going from a visit with you did not include hugs and kisses, not because we didn't want it. Elmer, I love you. Tom